Athlete With A Twist Gifts

Ball as water-melon.

Track & Field & Stream

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

Improvised Dentistry.

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

'Actually, I do mind wearing your pedometer!'

"Must you use the cat's litter box to practice your sand trap swing?"

Fast Food Dieter

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

Pelobong

Very drunk professional cyclist

"I have 15,000 patients...so my fantasy football team stinks."

Fitness in church.

"Didn't anyone tell you this is the private juice bar of the Health's Angels?"

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

'What the . . . no wonder we can't gain any yards. We've been fitted with radio collars...'

Church Open 51 Sundays Per Year, Closed Superbowl Sunday

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

"Your serve is basically good, it's just you're doing something funny right at the very end."

Man on cycling machine being chased by a dog on a running machine.

Finish Line

"My New Year's resolution is to get fit and watch more TV."

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise on a motorbike at a gym.

'Runners to your mark. Get set... wait! Lane three! Turn sideways!'

'He doesn't like to catch anything - He just fishes for the exercise!'

"It doesn't matter what the score is. When kids play, they play to learn sportsmanship, teamwork and the benefits of physical activity."

'Hello line 2, you are through to the keep fit phone in...'

Javelin

Bobsleigh practice.

Downhill taxidermy never made it past the trial stages of the Olympics.

'Ed's inventing a masculine exercise routine using a very large football.'

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

The Skullsmashers gang was known for was cruel and inhuman initiation rituals.