Exercise Enthusiast With A Twist Gifts

Fast Food Dieter

Fitness in church.

"See, you just turn it on and stand here and it slides you right to the shirt you want to wear."

"Athlete? No. Ambulance chaser."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

Be Healthy

"This feels like an accomplishment."

On the back of the t-shirt...

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

"It seemed like miles to me!"

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Man using exercise bike being chased by dog

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Running

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."