Astrological Sports Buff T-Shirts

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

Personal conker trainer.

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

Planting by the Moon.

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

'Horoscope, stay indoors and keep your mouth shut.' 'So, no dentist.'

'We're an equal opportunity employer and we do not discriminate against sex, race, religion, age, or astrological sign.'

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

'OK, be the ball, be the ball, be the ball'

'Fortune telling/retirement planning'

The Inner Dog.

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."

Monster Horrorscopes

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

You will awake to discover a dream come true.

"So, what is your star sign?"

"I used to believe in astrology, UFO's, reincarnation, ESP, and all that stuff - in a former life, of course."

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

'Yeah, I'm a trife scorpio - what of it?'

Documentation Please

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

"Eye irritation is quite common when Saturn and Jupiter are in this position. It's called conjunctivitis."

Fortune Tellers Convention

With uncertainty over what happens after Brexit we can't trust to our traditional forecast models..."

'I don't believe in astrology. I think that's because I'm a Leo.'

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'