Astro Aficionados Pillows

'And our star signs are perfectly compatible!'

Pentagon Science Contest: 'Since the military isn't known for doing things for the sake of science, why would they want to figure out how they can people to another solar system.'

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

Planting by the Moon.

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"It's nowhere near as far away as we thought!"

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

'Horoscope, stay indoors and keep your mouth shut.' 'So, no dentist.'

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

"We've all said things about heliocentricity that look bad when taken out of context."

'We're an equal opportunity employer and we do not discriminate against sex, race, religion, age, or astrological sign.'

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

The Inner Dog.

'Fortune telling/retirement planning'

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

'Hey, guys, come over here. I just discovered the telescope.'

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

"So, what is your star sign?"

Monster Horrorscopes

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

"It's called play, apparently it's fun."