Astro Fanatic Pillows

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"Ooh look Derek. A shooting star. Quick make a wish"

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

When the ship needed to go faster than Warp Speed, the crew ate lots of pungent beans.

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

Planting by the Moon.

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

'Horoscope, stay indoors and keep your mouth shut.' 'So, no dentist.'

Moon

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

'We're an equal opportunity employer and we do not discriminate against sex, race, religion, age, or astrological sign.'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

'Fortune telling/retirement planning'

The Inner Dog.

Astrology meets computer science. You think all computers are gemine? Yeah, they're born under a binary system.

'Do you have to yell 'far out!' every time you see something new?'

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

"So, what is your star sign?"

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

Houston, we've just found those lost socks people talk about...

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."

Monster Horrorscopes

'It may be just a dog turd too you - but to Professor Brian Cox and me it's a little piece of stardust.' (Based on the fact that Professor Cox is fond of stating that most of the atoms that make up living things was created inside stars)

"I used to believe in astrology, UFO's, reincarnation, ESP, and all that stuff - in a former life, of course."

'Yeah, I'm a trife scorpio - what of it?'

"Why am I the BUTT of every joke?"

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

Documentation Please

Al, you look nonplussed. I just heard that they discovered a new astrological sign, and my birthday now falls under the sign of the jackass.