Assistant Vice President Gifts

Design and Display company's executives have their titles displayed on their foreheads.

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"My email is down... talk to me."

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

21st century water cooler conversations.

Storm in the out tray

Do Not Resuscitate

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

Overworked in the office

Someone who knows apostrophes

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

Time for More Paperwork

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

Organization is not rocket science!

"At this office no two days are different."

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

Paperwork No Me Gusta.

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'