Assistant Professors T-Shirts

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

In basket-case.

'Hmph. College kids.'

Thinking Gears

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"Morning, all!"

"Make a lot of money."

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

U of Debt

University Soapflakes

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

Good Luck!

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Shake it all about sign on desk

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

The University Cricket Match - a sketch at Lord's.

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"....how many kids have we got now?"

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."