Academic Professor T-Shirts

'He has an MBA from Wharton.'

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"Welcome to the future"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Good boy."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Ethics exam cheater.

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

Big Bang Theory.

Albert Einstein

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Flags

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Fear/Knowledge

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'Hmph. College kids.'

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'But I digress...'