Assembler Gifts

Robot arm shows charity to a laid off beggar.

"Always throw in a few extra pieces, it drives the safety conscious parents crazy"

Happy Bear Toy Factory

"Young Frankenstein"

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'It all started when he tried to assemble a backyard gym without reading the instructions.'

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

Caution: use only under child supervison

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'No wonder it was so hard to assemble. I thought it was supposed to be a basketball hoop, not a weapon of mass destruction.'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

Man with self-assembly wardrobe and lots of random pieces: 'Funny how there always seems to be a few bits left over.'

Fred began to understand why this kit house was so cheap.

'It says 'turn screw clockwise to tighten.' Which way is clockwise in digital?'

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

"Relax. They come in pieces."

"For some reason I can relate to this computer that's been built with old parts."

'I'll give him twenty minutes, then jump in and show him how its done.'

Man tries to build a traditional Indian Guru bed using flatpack furniture.

'I think I see your problem. You didn't use the swear words listed in the assembly instructions.'

Christmas gift requiring assembly.

''Amazing amount of assembly required'.'

'What did I tell you about buying a flatpack wardrobe!'

'Sorry darling: I'm a great ape, I can use primitive tools, but this is too difficult for me...'

'...and it absolutely must be assembled!'

"Everyone seems to be having no trouble assembling our products. Apparently, we're making our instructions too easy."

'It's my new exercise machine, I lost 20 pounds putting it together, I've already got my money's worth out of it,'

' . . . and a surplus screw for the heck of it!'

"Relax Mr Dobbs, our interviews are very informal so please take a seat."

'There's really no need for confusion. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L clearly explains ...'

Flat pack sales assistant

"Don't worry. Think of it as putting together that Swedish furniture...there's always pieces left over."

"Step 1: Find Someone Who Knows How To Read Instructions, Dave."

A flat-pack cow.