Aspiring Tv Personality Gifts

"When I grow up, I'm gonna be on TV...and people are gonna say...how smart can you get?"

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'They all want to play the star.'

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

Directors chairs on movie set with Model, Actress, and Whatever on them

Child steps off chair and says, 'Tough crowd.'(Cat looks impassive)

"Nobody at school will laugh at me."

"Have a career, and then if you want to try acting, you'll have my blessing."

Biographies. Don Rickles for Dummies

"I'm not sure I'd want fifteen minutes of fame. Mum would only follow it with fifteen minutes of criticism."

"When I grow up, I want to be a Presidential impersonator on 'Saturday Night Live.'"

'Mummy, Mummy, I've been practising the whole afternoon: Wanna hear my evil laugh?'

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

"This area is popular with would-be actresses and models,we call it 'Silicon Implants'."

'Our guest today is. . . er. . . a Corporation. . .'

'Remind me again, Dad. Why did you want me to get that college degree?'

A panhandler with a sign that reads "I'll never work in this town again!".

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

'I was only famous for 14 and a half minutes.'

"My parents are nice, school's going well, and I'm basically a good kid. Unfortunately, there's no money or fame in being normal."

I'm just waiting tables until I can make it as an actor

Waiting to be discovered, or taken to work, whichever comes first...

Ventriloquism for Dummies.

"Larry and Phil aren't sure what they want to do, but Michael is interested in show business."

The Don't-Quit-Your-Day-Job Comedic Revue

"I like you kid, but you're really just a work in progress!"

"I know I'm good looking, but am I good looking enough to move to California?"

'Okay, I'll do one more dog food commercial, but I don't want to get typecast.'

"Actually I'm a waiter but things are pretty slow at the moment and I'm looking for something to fill in between jobs."

'Someday, you'll be a big star!'

"Note cards, like a TV talk-show host! Now I can talk intelligently on any subject!"

Lousy agent.