Aspiring Tv Character Gifts

"Wow! This is just like the tv show I've spent my whole life emulating!"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'They all want to play the star.'

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

"I've been genetically modified!"

Mr. K's essay is such a drag! Yeah, but I've got to do really well. Twig! You're such a grind! Am not! Life isn't only about grades. I know! But he's directing the spring musical. And my singing won't get me the part all by itself! English: Gateway to the Grammys.

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

Directors chairs on movie set with Model, Actress, and Whatever on them

"Nobody at school will laugh at me."

'With one stroke of his fibre-tipped pen, Cartoonman laid waste to all that was evil...'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

"Have a career, and then if you want to try acting, you'll have my blessing."

So close... Yet so far.

"First let me say that your father and I really, really wanted to like your performance."

"When I grow up, I want to be a Presidential impersonator on 'Saturday Night Live.'"

All our servers are locally caught from a sustainable source — the actors' academy across the street.

"This area is popular with would-be actresses and models,we call it 'Silicon Implants'."

I'm trying out for the spring play. You'll be great! Ha! You'll be grateful to be an usher, Meryl Creep. Yeah. The good parts go to real actors. Sigh. The arts are sooo uplifting.

"I'm not sure I'd want fifteen minutes of fame. Mum would only follow it with fifteen minutes of criticism."

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

A panhandler with a sign that reads "I'll never work in this town again!".

'Nothing doing folks, except ? surprise, surprise ? here's another for you, Desert Island Bloke.'

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

'I was only famous for 14 and a half minutes.'

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

'I'm playing a crowd member in the Easter pageant. I was going to play Pilate 'til I found out I'd have to wash my hands.'

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

'Good lick with your future acting career. And just to give you an idea of how tough it is out there, here's a copy of 'Withnail and I'. The uncut version.'

"My parents are nice, school's going well, and I'm basically a good kid. Unfortunately, there's no money or fame in being normal."

Waiting to be discovered, or taken to work, whichever comes first...

"Larry and Phil aren't sure what they want to do, but Michael is interested in show business."

"I like you kid, but you're really just a work in progress!"

'Jeff! You need to keep one foot on the ground!'

Always stick to the script.