Aspiring Sages T-Shirts

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away. Disregard this baloney if you're asthmatic."

What else is there to wish for?

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

"Well, this must be as big as I'm supposed to get."

'I seriously doubt if you've attained Nirvana yet - You've only been fasting and meditating for fifteen minutes.'

"There's no limit to what you can do with your life. Just look at me - I'm a chicken who ordered a beer."

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

Wang Yangming takes a scroll of knowledge from a crane.

"You know, we're not getting any younger...I mean, pretty soon, we'll both be 16."

"And for my next act I will escape from a galvanized-iron can filled with water and secured by massive locks."

'Let's face it, Old Simkins is well past his 'best before' date...'

'Just in case I forget it, I keep my mantra on my Ipod.'

'Nobody ever said that being a youth pastor would be EASY.'

'Great idea to give the kid this magic set!'

"They're not rich-rich, but they're rich enough so that we wouldn't feel uncomfortable around them."

"Oh, I wanted to be so many things. Of course, being wrinkled was not one of them."

'Oh, you don't need a prescription. You just need to refrain from everything you enjoy.'

'No kidding? -- I was at Woodstock, too!'

"Are you real?"

"So, how are you getting on with your plans to take the world by storm?"

I had a dream last night that I was a fish. Believe me, you're not missing a thing.

"...and now...coming into view...the first man ever to climb this treacherous mountain!"

'I know how you feel, but you can't let all this stand in the way of your dreams.'

The Young and the Politically Active

'I can't wait to grow up and just go to that machine and get money!'