Aspiring Elites T-Shirts

"Your butler, your father and I are concerned that with grades like these, you'll just end up being part of the 99%."

What else is there to wish for?

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

'Greenwich in the Season'

A push in the right direction: 50c.

'If I'd had someone to help me when I started, I might have made CEO...actually, I did make CEO, but you know what I mean.'

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'

I'm willing to start at the bottom and work my way up to your job..

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

Books: Self-Improvement Just keeping up with Joneses.

"Of course I'm not quitting school, Dad! If anything, I've learned that if you want to succeed, you need passion and leadership and a whatever-it-takes attitude!"

'I'm so proud of Trevor for getting an early start on his negative campaign for Student Council.'

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

"Progress is coming right along!"

Management Styles - Inspirational

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"And what do you want to be when you grow up little girl, a nurse or a secretary?"

"Well, if I can't get an increase based on merit, how about one based on the cost of living beyond my means?"

"Shouldn't be long before we're at the top."

"I'm thinking of getting into office politics."

'I don't want to rob the rich anymore, Marian, I want to BE the rich.'

"One thing I'll say for us, Meyer--we never stooped to popularizing science."

"I enjoyed your request for a raise. I've seldom read a more aspirational document."

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

'How do you expect me to fine tune my act if you keep taking me to the principal's office?

'The greenest government ever?'

"Honk If You're Running For Governor!

'I love you and your father loves you. Now go paint a masterpiece.'

"Eat your borscht. Don't you want to be President of the Soviet Union when you grow up?"

'Determined little guy.'

'Well, you're lousy at Maths, but I'm sure you'll become a great CEO one day...'

'It's okay that you missed the bullseye. What's important is that you always aimed high.'