Aspiring Intellectuals T-Shirts

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

'It's my application to Harvard...'

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

Books: Self-Improvement Just keeping up with Joneses.

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

'I found this copy of 'Atlas Shrugged' under his mattress!'

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

"I went to college knowing I wanted to be an astronaut. My parents had only a third-grade education. But they were good teachers. They taught me the importance of hard work...of perseverance...of not being afraid to dream."

"I was able to get you a 2-book deal."

A girl climbs a ladder of books

'I realize that you're upset that Oprah hasn't reviewed your new book on her show. But you are on MY show, so why don't you tell us what inspired you to write 'Overcoming Disappointment and Resentment.''

'I'm majoring in political science and minoring in ballet - I want to be a spin doctor.'

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

"Finally! Summer is here! That means we're one year closer to college!"

'I love you and your father loves you. Now go paint a masterpiece.'

"You got 136? It says here you're genius if you get a 132."

"He may be a child prodigy, but it's still a lousy C.V."

How was your college tour? Good. Now I need straight A's and 375 extracurriculars to get in. You're exaggerating. Easy for you to say. You've got a 4.0. Yeah, but

'I'm sorry, Mr. Pringle, you failed the acid test. We won't be hiring you.'

'I had everything going for me, but I could never find the right person to inspire me.'

"I've had those books for years. They represent the person I once aspired to be."

Kid reading Tolstoy's 'War and Peace' as Dad brings in 'The Three Bears'.

"Well, I think it's good that he wants to go to university."

'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

Unpublished Authors of the Big Bangs Theory

How to win 'Genius Grants' for dummies.

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away. Disregard this baloney if you're asthmatic."

Monkey tries to read a book.