Aspiring Romancer Gifts

"So...you're Estella. I don't see how this is gonna work! You really don't have much of a personality!"

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"I try to write a little bit every day."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

Kiddies Menu for Witches

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

'I can't promise you a best seller but I can give you fifteen minutes of fame.'

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

"Nobody at school will laugh at me."

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

So close... Yet so far.

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

'Actually, the entire novel is a metaphor of me getting rich from the movie rights.'

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

Man and Woman suck in their stomachs in order to impress.

I'm the bluebird of happiness, and I'm on a book tour. Make Your Own Happiness.

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

"I fell I have a great novel me."

"She gets her musical ability from me."

'Yes, you sing. But do you dance and make romance?'

'On Company Time: A Novel'

I'm trying out for the spring play. You'll be great! Ha! You'll be grateful to be an usher, Meryl Creep. Yeah. The good parts go to real actors. Sigh. The arts are sooo uplifting.

"Right here's the problem, apparently you have a novel in you"

'I figured if you liked the first paragraph I'd go ahead and finish the book.'