Aspiring Fortune-teller Gifts

"My palm's itching. Means I'm gonna make some money." "No Chuck. It means you need to wash."

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

"Before you grade my test, keep in mind, my dream is to become a wealthy doctor, just like my available father"

World Economic Forum

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'How will my turkey turn out this year?' Color

Share Prices - "Due to a delay in installing our new computer price system, I can give you an answer immediately."

"Forget about tall and handsome. What about portfolio 10 year highs and lows?"

"At you age I had already started a Pension Pot."

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

"I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'."

'The cards say 'buy' but the tea leaves say 'sell'.'

'Motivation...I want huge amounts of money. Vast amounts of cash.'

"Making an honest dollar's easy. Making an honest million, now that's tough."

"I like the Businessman's Special. The fortune cookies all have stock futures in them."

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"I can't keep giving you stock tips. The SEC has been making 'insider trading' inquiries."

Your weight and fortune.

'Would you say this glass is half empty or half full?'

"Hoping to find a Picasso at a garage sale isn't a solid retirement plan."

'The red phone is my grapevine to Andrea Mitchenll, who hears it firsthand from Alan Greenspan, who hears it first from Ben Bernanke.'

'Sorry, but sorting through garbage bins for food is pretty much what the future holds for you...'

"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."

'See many bathroom breaks in near future after eating Moo Goo Gai Pan.'

'Oh, we haven't used a crystal ball in years.'

"I'm keeping it really simple!"

'What makes you think they're modern fakes?'

'I see lot's of water...'

"Only another thousand points up and I'm even, honey."

"Fido is our best investment forecaster. He can smell fear, greed, and money."