Artsy Diners T-Shirts

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

The worm that churned!

Dali Chooses a Lobster

"For drinks or dinner?"

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

Picasso

Sushi Train Spotters

"Fresh pepper?"

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

Burger stall at an art gallery

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

Chernobyl Chow

The Salvador Deli

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

"I'll have the chef."

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

"I'm supposed to sing you the specials. Do you want me to do that?"

'I'll have the duck ? l'orange, without the duck, of course.'

'Can I get you anything else, sir?'

'Genuine Venutian Bistro.'

'Enjoy?...How?'

Frank 'n' Steins...beer & bratwurst (chef Frankenstein).

'It would never work out, Harry -- I'm wine and cheese, and you're beer and pretzels.'

"Is that your 'God Bless America' or mine?"

"I'll have the artist's lunch, if there is such."

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that much of a surprise.'

'Aside from the cockroach, how was everything?'