Artistic Rivalry Enthusiast Pillows

'My NEA grant is bigger than your NEA grant!'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"Avant-garde jazz hands"

Tic-tac-toe

The Sculptor

The Harper Plays Cricket.

Gianni Tatti's Dining-Room Chair

"Just being proactive."

'Two men having a sword fight with large pen and pencil.'

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

Antonin Leopold Dvorak

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

'I warned him about watching the game at the opposition's pub.'

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"Now that's art!"

Fight on the top

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

"Yin and Yankee fan"

'I hate snowboarders!'

"The sad truth… Ow! My ear!"

Dog tallying his score against the mailman.

'First off, your average Paolozzi has far fewer holes than your Moore.'

David Anderson vs. Goliath

"I thought they decided who was the best team last year?"

'We geochemists did very well before there were geophysicists.'

I've just found out our competitors are losing money faster than we are.

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

'You're useless, Johnson. I like that in a rival.'

"Nobody realized I was a man to watch until it was too late."