Artist Gifts

Creation of Red Wine

The Neapolitan Museum of Art

"For Heaven's sake, why don't you go outdoors and trace something?"

'Smile - it's Van Gogh.'

This is your brain on cartoons

"I've invented the wheel but I don't want anybody to know about it yet."

Modern art: I call it Procrastination.

Leonardo Da Vinci's Dog.

Caution: Perfectionists at Work Next 1/4 Mile.

Man Lifting Heavy Block

"Maybe it needs a caption."

'It's either very good or very bad.'

"What I do as an artist is take an ordinary object – say, a lamppost – and, by urinating on it, transform it into something that is uniquely my own."

"This explains the p***s we saw downstairs."

"But is it content?"

"I'm a big fan of your work."

The Meh

"It's SO last epoch."

"This is the show, Madam."

"Hello, Braque? Picasso here. Cubism is out."

Well la de da. . .

The Scream at the movie theater.

"Of course it's an egg...but it's a chicken to those of us with vision..."

From The Museum Of Modern Art's Collection Of American Mixology......The Mies Martini

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

"He was such a great artist, yet in his own lifetime he never sold a single mug."

Communications down, oxygen low. Luckily, art supplies still holding out.

At the Met

"Now this I get."

The Algonquin Round Table

The Museum of Swine Art.

'It's not the same. I was caught stealing office supplies. You, on the other hand, got caught stealing ideas.'

'This next block of silence is for all you folks who download music for free, eliminating my incentive to create,'

The Think Tank

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