Artisanal Writing Fan Gifts

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The Dorrie Decimal System

Blue Stockings

'He likes to power nap.'

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

John Bunyan

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

Pets are reading the book 'Animal Farm'.

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"Well, we needed the rain."

Don Quixote

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Dating an English Major

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

Sue the Author 3PM

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"Oh, this old thing?"

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

A Footnote - Self Portrait of Beardsley, Bound to the God of Nature

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

Moby Dick

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

It was the best of times, it was the wasrtn blanfil trmsl... It was the bnarfy foodel pook. Arghh! Darn reader's block.