Artisanal Food Pillows

"Don't say anything, but these aren't really artisanal bread crumbs."

"Is the MSG local?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Bottle Distillery

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

"Not while they're making artisanal bread."

"You wanted to see the pastry chef, sir."

(Direct to the Consumer)

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'It's all local, except for the fish. They're from the ocean.'

The Salvador Deli

'I think we should eat out in the hotel tomorrow dear.'

Adam and Eve and Scott

"I see you've got a new cheese counter."

'I don't suppose you have any grey poupon?'

Cheesemaker

"And over here we have a painting called 'Tuna Melt with Pickles' or 'The Persistence of Appetite'."

"Your father and I were hoping for something a little less artisanal."

Cheese Hole

Cottage Industry

'Is it local?'

'I'd heard that they like to source their food locally'

"All our water is locally sourced. From a little something we call 'the kitchen faucet'."

"What's so great about eating local? It's all fast food."

"On the plus side, all the ingredients are local."

Farmers' Union

'I hate it when they take the food pyramid, mix it all together and serve it in a trough!'

"I'll have the artist's lunch, if there is such."

"I can’t bear the self-satisfied unless I’m self-medicated."