Artisan Food Pillows

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Bottle Distillery

"Not while they're making artisanal bread."

"How are we on bread?"

"You wanted to see the pastry chef, sir."

Baker

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

The Salvador Deli

"I see you've got a new cheese counter."

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

Adam and Eve and Scott

Cheesemaker

Cheese Hole

"And over here we have a painting called 'Tuna Melt with Pickles' or 'The Persistence of Appetite'."

Bread Stall

Farmers' Union

"I'll have the artist's lunch, if there is such."

"I can’t bear the self-satisfied unless I’m self-medicated."

Now at the Farmers' Market

Italian Pasta Moms...

Bread quality

"Yeah, I paid $29 for mouthwash -- it's a small batch mouthwash."

"Don't say anything, but these aren't really artisanal bread crumbs."

I love Pretentious Coffee.

He says he only makes craft honey now.

Prisoner Painting With Food

'Once we escape poverty we won't have to eat any more of this single-batch artisanal wild-produce crap.'