Artisan Market Goer Gifts

"I can’t bear the self-satisfied unless I’m self-medicated."

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

Why markets crash.

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

"Lovely dovetail."

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

Jumping Wall Street.

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

Luthier

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

About the potter.

"Market euphoria is at an all time high."

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

Wall Street Investing.

"I can now fetch anything you want - on Etsy."

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

'Fresh eggs!'

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

Pottery Slam

Bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread is the only truly perfect man-made thing on earth.