Artillery Antics Gifts

The Jerry Scarer

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

"Are there treats? Just grab the treats and get outta there!"

The Goalkeeper

'I think you should seek treatment for that Lego block obsession of yours!'

'He's trying to talk them into giving themselves up!'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

'It wasn't premeditated.

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

"Um, I think it's my job to make them dance."

'It was self-defense - the clock struck first.'

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

Dog stuck in cat flap.

cat singing into microphone

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Boring Rainy Day Sitting Area.'

Fisherman catches swimmer.

Stale Ostrich Egg Throwers

Really big bang

'That still doesn't make you a big fish!'

'I'll get into the garbage, Whiskers here will wreck the sofa, and you - you'll drive the getaway castle.'

Cat flushing toilet with dog in bath.

"GPS wants me to stay put."

Hang Time Fido

"You threw the wrench again, didn't you?"

"The next time you teach Rex to fetch the paper, make sure it's just our paper!"

Photobomb-Sniffing Dog

That's a silly question. What does it LOOK like I'm doing?'

Winter rabbit spoiling winter fun

Canine Frat Parties

Groucho Chicken

Fishermen catching each other as fish looks on.