Artificial Flavor Aficionado T-Shirts

"I love ice cream with artificial vanilla and a dash of chocolate substitute!"

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

'Needs salt!'

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

Ice Cream Dreams.

Harsh Mellows.

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

"Pistachio almond—that's the buyout."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"Next time make up your mind and just pick one!"

"I'm unable to process this image."

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

Funky Chef 2

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

A menu with risks and benefits

"They say the taste makes up for their lack in artful presentation."

Ice Cream Flavors

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

A shop is called 'Garnishes: Top Meals in Tough Times'.

"We call it 'dish' of the day, but it's actually served on a plank of wood."

Instead of a cap and gown Mike got a hairnet and spatula.

"And how is the 'medium' salmon you had me overcook?!"