Artificial Flavor Aficionado T-Shirts

"I love ice cream with artificial vanilla and a dash of chocolate substitute!"

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

'Needs salt!'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Harsh Mellows.

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

Ice Cream Dreams.

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

"Pistachio almond—that's the buyout."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"I'm unable to process this image."

"Next time make up your mind and just pick one!"

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

Funky Chef 2

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

A menu with risks and benefits

"They say the taste makes up for their lack in artful presentation."

Ice Cream Flavors

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

"And how is the 'medium' salmon you had me overcook?!"

"We call it 'dish' of the day, but it's actually served on a plank of wood."

"Honey, quick – the demi-glace is about to simmer – pass me a shot of Don Julio 1942 tequila!"

A shop is called 'Garnishes: Top Meals in Tough Times'.

Instead of a cap and gown Mike got a hairnet and spatula.