Art World Rebel Gifts

"And now, moving along to our right, we have Hilda Schumacher, of Zelton Falls, Pennsylvania. Ms. Schumacher has been painting clowns on velvet for over fifteen years, and we find her work a fine example of this genre."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

battered artist has painted picture of falling bomb.

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

Do not think outside the box!

Gallery Pranks

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

"It drives me mad when people act as though we had nothing to do except write moronic memorandum..."

'Sorry, you failed the aptitude test.' -'Thankfully I own the company.'

Stop Ironic Graffiti

'The company was quite generous. They gave me a whole day off for the funeral.'

"The museum of modern art on fire... an installation."

'This is the painting he was about to start when he shot himself.'

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

Graffitti.

"The figures for the last quarter are in. We made significant gains in the fifteen-to-twenty-six-year-old age group, but we lost our immortal souls."

"The holidays are finished George, get over it!"

'And I see that Derek continues to ignore our company's dress code...'

I stamped out smiley faces in your handwritten memos, and by George, I'll do the same with emoticons in your emails!

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

"Yeah? Well, tell him that in this company Gandhi-like resistance wouldn't have worked for Gandhi, either."

"Now on view: Old paintings by dead white men through whenever…"

If cartoonists fought wars.

'We've got trouble, Henderson - Your people got with my people and decided they didn't need us.'

"What're you doing? Your contract forbids you from watching 'cute baby video' on YouTube."

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

'Sorry, but I think your Mondrian tattoo was a mistake.'

"I pride myself on being able to walk that fine line between misdemeanor and felony."