Art Teachers Gifts

I love Pottery.

'It's a mystery to me how these people produce such healthy-looking children.'

'It's a very interesting resume, but have you ever done anything other than bar napkins?'

Vincent Van Gogh's family reunion Family members with ears missing or bandaged up

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

Well, you know these child prodigies - they can be very demanding about how their work is displayed.

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"It's a pitch spork. I bought it online."

A Puppet Named Juan

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Paul Klee

The Artist

'I'm in my Blue period.'

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

"I don't think I can express what I have to say in just colored paper and glue."

Instructional guide to scribbling

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"In the beginning, God created, like, 300 concept sketches..."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Children's artwork exhibition.

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not in art class. I will not talk in art class.

'Projectile painting.'

"You're my Mona Lisa."

It isn't widely known that Michelangelo was the first in a long line of cartoonists to buck the family tradition.

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.