Art Educator Gifts

'This composition was produced during the artist's Hay Fever period, and is simply entitled The Sneeze.'

"No, honey, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have the measles."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

'Aren't any of these interactive?'

"You're Tom Holbein the face painter, I thought you was Hans..."

A Puppet Named Juan

The Art Student.

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

The Artist

Paul Klee

'I'm in my Blue period.'

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

"I don't think I can express what I have to say in just colored paper and glue."

Instructional guide to scribbling

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

Children's artwork exhibition.

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"In the beginning, God created, like, 300 concept sketches..."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

'Projectile painting.'

"You're welcome."

Cat with Nine Still Lives

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

It's a call from Tate modern.

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."