Art School Admission Gifts

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

The Art Student.

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

The Artist

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'Projectile painting.'

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

Just call me Picasso!

Picasso: The Early Years

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"Judging by the number of 'Polar Bear in snowstorm' paintings the class seems apprehensive using color."

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

Art Gallery.

German School

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

'Is this any way to treat a budding genius?'

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

Van Go

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

Cartooning 101: Figure Drawing

Art Plagiarism

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

'Yes, I'm very excited. I really think that I will make my mark as a surrealist miniaturist.'

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

Cubism Model