Art School Admission Gifts

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

The Art Student.

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

The Artist

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

'Projectile painting.'

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Just call me Picasso!

Picasso: The Early Years

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

"Judging by the number of 'Polar Bear in snowstorm' paintings the class seems apprehensive using color."

Art Gallery.

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

School of Art & Design. Looks like they're putting up an addition.

German School

Vincent Van Og.

'Is this any way to treat a budding genius?'

Van Go

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

Cartooning 101: Figure Drawing

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

Art Plagiarism

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

Cubism Model

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"