Starting Art College Gifts

The Art Student.

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

The Artist

'I'm in my Blue period.'

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

'Projectile painting.'

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Just call me Picasso!

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

Picasso: The Early Years

Art Gallery.

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

"Judging by the number of 'Polar Bear in snowstorm' paintings the class seems apprehensive using color."

"120 colors and no 'Sun' color!!"

German School

'Is this any way to treat a budding genius?'

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

Cartooning 101: Figure Drawing

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

Van Go

The Best Art Teacher in the World.

Art Plagiarism

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

Like many kids, Bobby had an imaginary friend. Unfortunately for Bobby, he was a critic.

"Billy is turning out to be quite the little artist."

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Cubism Model

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

Modern Portrait Gallery