Studying Art Gifts

Art Gallery.

The Art Student.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

The Artist

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

'Projectile painting.'

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Just call me Picasso!

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

Fourth Tableau of Das Rheingold

"Judging by the number of 'Polar Bear in snowstorm' paintings the class seems apprehensive using color."

School of Art & Design. Looks like they're putting up an addition.

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

"120 colors and no 'Sun' color!!"

German School

Vincent Van Og.

'Is this any way to treat a budding genius?'

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

Cartooning 101: Figure Drawing

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

Art Plagiarism

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

Cubism Model

'Picasso'

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

"Billy is turning out to be quite the little artist."

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."