Art Scene Explorer Gifts

"I'm unable to process this image."

"My kid could buy that."

'I know it's dead - but is it art?'

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

'No ice.'

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Personally, I'm a doer."

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

Convenience.

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

Rodin's Browser

Kid doing cave paintings

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

The Cremaster Cycle

Imagine

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

'Sophie has discovered Gehry.'

Art Masters as Clowns pt. 2

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

""Stop fidgeting. This is supposed to be a still-life."

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'

"Are my breasts AI? No! My cartoonist would never use AI!"

Maria Sibylla Merian

"So, do you come here often?"

Mammoth Posing

Giacometti's less famous 'Man Walking Dog'

Jackson Pollock's brief career with the highway department

Cover story: Picasso

'I promised my wife I was only getting one beer.'

'I can't tell the kitch from the schlock any more.'

'Of course this makes your old masters al look now so very contrived.'

"I can write, but I can't draw."

Antiques

'Another martini please.'