Art Pilgrim Gifts

"I thought this was the Vermeer tour."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Sparkling Water

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

The Statue of Liberty holding up an ice-cream.

'I know I can't take it with me, but what about computer simulations?'

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

Newspaper

'The meaning of life??? How the hell should I know? Try Google.'

"You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to meet you."

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

Computer literate Monk

"You have indeed purchased an original Rembrandt. A Ralph Rembrandt."

"I love it....but lose the bodies"

'I always keep him on a leash when I take him for a walk...'

Man Painting Road.

"Have you tried turning it off and then on again?"

Thanksgiving Eve - Turkey Tractor Beam

Meet the Author Online.

The Blessing of the Pasta at Trattoria Del Vaticano

"There she is! The Holy Bubbha!"

'Welcome to Lourdes'

'Our health plan is one free trip to Lourdes.'

Will this one count my blessings and display them one by one?

'You didn't EITHER just friend the Pope!'

Do you think computer games are as good as real life? Virtually.

Lourdes Miracles.

'They say it's a loophole in the law, sarge - we can't evict them because those things aren't tents, they're articles of clothing.'

Techno Geeks.

City Travel: 'If I buy my medications in Acapulco, can I deduct the trip as a medical expense?'