Art Movement Nerd Pillows

Pablo Picasso

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Baroque Peacock

Klimt Kiss Phones

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

Giant Monster in Bath

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

'At least I never have to straighten it out.'

"Now that was post-modern sex."

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

The Cremaster Cycle

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

Woodworms at a sculpture gallery.

"Still-Life of New Mexican Grilled Quail with Cilantro and Fennel-Flecked Confit."

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"

Art Masters as Clowns pt. 2

"Hendrickje, I feel another self-portrait coming on. Bring in the funny hats."

Dogs looking at a fire hydrant in an art gallery.

"Their titles from left to right are, 'Holiday in Palm Springs','Next mortgage payment' and 'Deposit on a new Porsche'

'I have one just like this at home. My five year old son painted it.'

The Abstract, The Modernist, The Avant-Guard.

"Now, is this the kind of painting your Mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

Francoise Gilot

Metropolitan Art Center current exhibit: Father of the Finger-In-Your-Eye School of Modern Art.

'Picasso'