Art Movement Nerd Prints

Pablo Picasso

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

Baroque Peacock

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Klimt Kiss Phones

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

Giant Monster in Bath

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

"Now that was post-modern sex."

'At least I never have to straighten it out.'

The Cremaster Cycle

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

"Still-Life of New Mexican Grilled Quail with Cilantro and Fennel-Flecked Confit."

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"

Art Masters as Clowns pt. 2

Woodworms at a sculpture gallery.

"Hendrickje, I feel another self-portrait coming on. Bring in the funny hats."

Dogs looking at a fire hydrant in an art gallery.

"Now, is this the kind of painting your Mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"

'I have one just like this at home. My five year old son painted it.'

"Their titles from left to right are, 'Holiday in Palm Springs','Next mortgage payment' and 'Deposit on a new Porsche'

The Abstract, The Modernist, The Avant-Guard.

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

'Picasso'

Metropolitan Art Center current exhibit: Father of the Finger-In-Your-Eye School of Modern Art.

"Hmmm...I wonder what the artist is trying to say...?"