Art History Buff Gifts

At the Met

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

Lumberjack Finds Strange Tree Rings

The Dentists By Munch

Caveman tries to carve using a pencil.

"Why, Giambattista Tiepolo, you old so-and-so! Who knew you could paint?"

'You're going to have to give up painting ceilings, Michelangelo !'

Medusa and Perseus.

"One of you shall betray me - Four of you shall get book deals."

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

The Creation of Static

"Careful now. It's fragile."

'I'm thinking about cutting off my ear, just like my idol, Vincent Van Gogh.'

Michelangelo

Raphael

'I wonder if Michael Angelo got a stiff neck when he painted the ceiling!'

Pull my finger.

'Notice the fluidity of line and the outstanding potential for asset appreciation.'

'As a freelancer I'm better safe than sorry.'

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

"Gracie, look at my snow angel!"

"Thanks for reaching out."

Art Vandalism

Husband Descending a Staircase After Tripping on his Wife's Shoes

"Wait, what if we convinced the jury that, while they're wasting their time with me, the real Socrates is still at large?"

"You have a Picasso?"

"He's older and fatter, but that's definitely the same guy in the painting."

Two Picassos with Feet of Klee

"Surely, Son, you can find something to paint indoors."

"Jackson Pollock's diaper"

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

"...My daughter, the model..."

"I sweat to Pu – err, God."

"Maybe you could be an artist? Here's a test. Just draw this picture of Luca Signorelli's 'The Damned Cast into Hell' and send it in to see if you have talent."