Art History Gifts

"I hope these images will generate a huge number of academic papers and theses on the Palaeolithic period."

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

"Wver notice if you speed-read these cave drawings you invent animation?"

'I could do that.'

The Rake's Progress - Scene in Bedlam.

'Rock beats scissors.'

'And here, the artist is clearly making an ironic statement about the fleeting nature of material possessions.'

I always wanted to be a muse.

"I spent $1,000 on this great painting. And I spent $2,000 on college courses to know why it is great!"

'Believe it or not, this was just an empty cave until we turned it into this art gallery.'

Academicians discussing the admitance of Pre-Raphaelites

Painting Mona Lisa.

'You want Goya - around the corner.'

"His painting is actually better than it looks..."

'Bear in mind that during my art training, I was heavily influenced by Picasso.'

"Notice how her eyes follow your bluetooth-enabled visitor badges around the room."

Natürlich verstehst du es nicht. Er ist ein Künstler für Künstler.

'Kitschy, but I like it.'

Edgar Degas

Susanna and the Elders

Whistler's Motherboard

The Abstract, The Modernist, The Avant-Guard.

Tracey Emin's work My Bed, alongside Marcel Duchamp's urinal (titled Fountain). Duchamp referred to his works as 'readymades'. Emin's work is 'unmade'.

Rodin's Freemason (unfinished)

Titian

Raphael

The party is over.

"The catalogue's no help, it just says 'we haven't a clue either'."

Countess

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

Dog and Human Archaeologists

"Museum directory: Male statues with big d**ks. Female statues with huge tits & fat butts."

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

"Wait, what if we convinced the jury that, while they're wasting their time with me, the real Socrates is still at large?"

"Have you give any thought to my suggestion about a sculpture that's just a chubby kid constantly peeing."