Art Historian Gifts

'In the future, that should produce thousands of PhD theses.'

The Suppressed Paintings of Cavewomen

"Hendrickje, I feel another self-portrait coming on. Bring in the funny hats."

"But is it content?"

The Meh

Nude Defending a Staircase

"Of course it's an egg...but it's a chicken to those of us with vision..."

"He was such a great artist, yet in his own lifetime he never sold a single mug."

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

'Whoa! Now they want angels and stuff... On the CEILING? None of this was in our original contract!'

'In the future, that should produce thousands of PhD theses.'

Rodin's Thinker: 'So what's he got that I haven't got?'

Lumberjack Finds Strange Tree Rings

'I could do that.'

Doric, Ionic and Corinthian.

"Primitive? Compared to what?"

The Climax - J'ai baise ta Bouche

"Uh, hello? My eyes are over here."

"Oh, it's you."

Munch Master.

'Picasso's Blue Period begins.'

The Big Picture

Michelangelo's Parents - 1481

'No, not that! Look over there - I've invented Modern Art.'

Rodin's 'Thinker' with a computer for a head.

"Lou, c'm'ere - you gotta check out this guy's Degas!"

"It may well be a hugely significant example of early 18th century Flemish art...but as head of merchandising I have to ask 'What would it look like on a fridge magnet?'"

"It's an early selfie."

"It's nice, but I never smile like that. I smile like this."

Roberto paused to admire his work. Never before had he plastered a ceiling so beautifully. Minutes later, a young punk named Michelangelo would ruin everything.

'Remember use your museum behavior, not your art gallery behavior.'

'That should be good for quite a few doctoral dissertations in the future.'

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

'The Creation of Adam' in the age of Covid-19