Art Historian Gifts

'In the future, that should produce thousands of PhD theses.'

The Suppressed Paintings of Cavewomen

"Hendrickje, I feel another self-portrait coming on. Bring in the funny hats."

"But is it content?"

The Meh

Nude Defending a Staircase

"Of course it's an egg...but it's a chicken to those of us with vision..."

"He was such a great artist, yet in his own lifetime he never sold a single mug."

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

'Whoa! Now they want angels and stuff... On the CEILING? None of this was in our original contract!'

'In the future, that should produce thousands of PhD theses.'

'I could do that.'

Rodin's Thinker: 'So what's he got that I haven't got?'

Lumberjack Finds Strange Tree Rings

Doric, Ionic and Corinthian.

The Climax - J'ai baise ta Bouche

"Primitive? Compared to what?"

"Uh, hello? My eyes are over here."

Michelangelo's Parents - 1481

Munch Master.

"Oh, it's you."

'Picasso's Blue Period begins.'

A Starry Night.

'No, not that! Look over there - I've invented Modern Art.'

The Big Picture

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

"It may well be a hugely significant example of early 18th century Flemish art...but as head of merchandising I have to ask 'What would it look like on a fridge magnet?'"

'Remember use your museum behavior, not your art gallery behavior.'

Rodin's 'Thinker' with a computer for a head.

'That should be good for quite a few doctoral dissertations in the future.'

"Lou, c'm'ere - you gotta check out this guy's Degas!"

'Rock beats scissors.'

"It's nice, but I never smile like that. I smile like this."

Roberto paused to admire his work. Never before had he plastered a ceiling so beautifully. Minutes later, a young punk named Michelangelo would ruin everything.

"It's an early selfie."