Artistic Historian Gifts

The First Writer and Editor: 'Take out that part?! Are you nuts? How is the stampede scene at the end of the cave going to make sense without it?!'

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'

"Derivative? Of what?"

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

You're my Mona Lisa.

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

At the Museum

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Madonna of the Pukes.

Paul Klee

The Artist

The DaVinci Code

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

The Googler

"I think he was a celebrity."

Venus

Honoré de Balzac

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

A caveman paints from life

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"Well....I could've done this!"

"Mr. Right!"

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

Baroque Peacock

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

It isn't widely known that Michelangelo was the first in a long line of cartoonists to buck the family tradition.

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

The Selfie

"You're my Mona Lisa."

Klimt Kiss Phones

'A Ball at the Mansion House'