Art History Prints

"I hope these images will generate a huge number of academic papers and theses on the Palaeolithic period."

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

"Wver notice if you speed-read these cave drawings you invent animation?"

'I could do that.'

The Rake's Progress - Scene in Bedlam.

"I spent $1,000 on this great painting. And I spent $2,000 on college courses to know why it is great!"

'And here, the artist is clearly making an ironic statement about the fleeting nature of material possessions.'

I always wanted to be a muse.

'Believe it or not, this was just an empty cave until we turned it into this art gallery.'

"Notice how her eyes follow your bluetooth-enabled visitor badges around the room."

Academicians discussing the admitance of Pre-Raphaelites

Painting Mona Lisa.

"His painting is actually better than it looks..."

'You want Goya - around the corner.'

'Bear in mind that during my art training, I was heavily influenced by Picasso.'

"The catalogue's no help, it just says 'we haven't a clue either'."

Natürlich verstehst du es nicht. Er ist ein Künstler für Künstler.

The party is over.

Rodin's Freemason (unfinished)

Susanna and the Elders

The Abstract, The Modernist, The Avant-Guard.

Titian

Edgar Degas

Raphael

Tracey Emin's work My Bed, alongside Marcel Duchamp's urinal (titled Fountain). Duchamp referred to his works as 'readymades'. Emin's work is 'unmade'.

'Kitschy, but I like it.'

Art Vandalism

"If they say 'Rubensesque' in their profile, they mean they're a Botero."

"I just wish I could loosen up like you."

"Wait, what if we convinced the jury that, while they're wasting their time with me, the real Socrates is still at large?"

Other Rembrandt Misattributions

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

Two Picassos with Feet of Klee

"Oh, and Botticelli. Botticelli would probably have been a great filmmaker."

"Norman, let's lend out the Olmec head."