Art Gallery Professional Gifts

"I like it."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

Rodin's Cattle-Grid

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

Jackson Pollock Signs A Rent Check

Anyone would think it's Frieze week...

Art of Surviving

"Outré or simply bad?"

"I don't know art, but I know what I like!"

'Of course we can afford it, Reginald. Just get yourself fired as CEO!'

"How did this comma get in with all the pieces?"

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

Please do not touch the art. Please touch the artist.

In the art gallery

'A bad Picasso is still better than a good wall!'

"Hmmm...I wonder what the artist is trying to say...?"

"Here the artist opted for a more impressionistic approach, because drawing a tree is hard."

Who are you?

'Abstract art is supposed to look that way.' (A rather smarthy attitude in an art gallery)

Understanding art.

"While, yes, I could produce those strokes, I lack the context to position an image in the ongoing conversation of contemporary art as enclosed by capitalist forces."

'It's a selfie.'

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

"Yes, but is it art?"

Boy copying abstract artwork in an art gallery.

How Art Works.

"It's a cautionary tale about why we shouldn't cut arts funding in schools."

Let's see...number 61...the painting's name is 'Calamity'.