Art Gallery Owner Gifts

"This is the show, Madam."

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

"I decided to cut out the pretense and get to the point!"

Muriel's over-curated life

'Amazing isn't it? The eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

"This artist is a deeply religious feminist and anti-smoking advocate, who made a lot of money in the computer industry before going off to paint in Paris, where she now lives with her husband and two little girls."

'What do you do if a 3-d print job gets messed up?'

Understanding art.

Old Rope

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

'My grant ran out.'

"My art dealer assured me people will think it's worth a lot mo is."re than it

"I knew the artist when he was just deluding himself."

"While, yes, I could produce those strokes, I lack the context to position an image in the ongoing conversation of contemporary art as enclosed by capitalist forces."

'We're going to have to pass on the painting - but we'll take a case of this wine!'

An exhibition is open for business while an inhibition remains closed.

"I don't know art, but I know what I like!"

'At $87,000, I'd say this comes from the artist's I'm-milking-this-for-all-I-can Period.'

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

'By the time the artist has started work on these still life he had sadly lipped into chronic alcoholism.'

'This one speaks to me. It's titled 'Irrational Exuberance'.'

'I am afraid, sir, that in the current economic climate, a picture is now only worth 500 words.'

Wind Painting

"He used art to break down barriers. That, of course, and the sledge hammer."

'God, it's a relief to get away from that exhibition of a bit.'

Killer Hals

"Have you got that one in green?"

the statue

Mobile Art Gallery.

"It's called 'wet paints!'"

"It's called 'eight down and fourteen across'."

Art of Surviving

'Rodin's phone bid'

'I hope that's all your own work, Spot.'