Art Gallery Owner Prints

"This is the show, Madam."

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

"I decided to cut out the pretense and get to the point!"

Muriel's over-curated life

'Amazing isn't it? The eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

Old Rope

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

Understanding art.

'What do you do if a 3-d print job gets messed up?'

"This artist is a deeply religious feminist and anti-smoking advocate, who made a lot of money in the computer industry before going off to paint in Paris, where she now lives with her husband and two little girls."

'This one speaks to me. It's titled 'Irrational Exuberance'.'

"I don't know art, but I know what I like!"

An exhibition is open for business while an inhibition remains closed.

'We're going to have to pass on the painting - but we'll take a case of this wine!'

'At $87,000, I'd say this comes from the artist's I'm-milking-this-for-all-I-can Period.'

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

'By the time the artist has started work on these still life he had sadly lipped into chronic alcoholism.'

'My grant ran out.'

"While, yes, I could produce those strokes, I lack the context to position an image in the ongoing conversation of contemporary art as enclosed by capitalist forces."

"I knew the artist when he was just deluding himself."

"My art dealer assured me people will think it's worth a lot mo is."re than it

'Rodin's phone bid'

Art of Surviving

"It's called 'eight down and fourteen across'."

"It's called 'wet paints!'"

Mobile Art Gallery.

the statue

"Have you got that one in green?"

'He lives under the illusion that Charles Saatchi is going to barge in here someday and buy everything.'

'The green dot indicates it's just been sold to someone colour-blind...'

'We jacked up the price an extra $5,000 since this one resembles an 'up' profits chart.'

'So colour is this artist's vocabulary huh! Well his language is to colourful for me!'

Wind Painting

'God, it's a relief to get away from that exhibition of a bit.'