Art Gallery Navigator T-Shirts

"I don't dare take him near the De Kooning exhibit!"

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I think he was a celebrity."

Culture Saturday

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

Rodin's Browser

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

The Cremaster Cycle

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

Morning and Afternoon Paintings

"Outré or simply bad?"

Art of Surviving

Gallery book shop - Rodin's Browser

"It says 'Click here to enlarge.'"

"Here the artist opted for a more impressionistic approach, because drawing a tree is hard."

Please do not touch the art. Please touch the artist.

"Hmmm...I wonder what the artist is trying to say...?"

Artist Retrospective.

His new 'Absence of Anything' reminds me strangely of his earlier blank 'Nothing to Say' canvasses."

"Is that all you can say - 'It's not messy'?"

Rodins rotten juggler

Art gallery: 'I think it's lovely.'

"Yes, but is it art?"

Boy copying abstract artwork in an art gallery.

"It's a cautionary tale about why we shouldn't cut arts funding in schools."