Art Director Gifts

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Whoa! Check out the kerning on that!"

'I don't like the painting either, but it is part of our corporate culture.'

"Very funny, art-boy. Just make sure I get the cartoon on time."

'They've redesigned the logo in the wake of funding cuts.'

'It's perfect ... except the client wants their name to be twice as big as the art.'

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

"How much!!!?!"

"You act like you've never worked with an art director before."

"That's perfect. It looks hideous but they're all the client's wife's favourite colours, so he's sure to sign it off."

"Now that we taped some inspiration to a wall, we can finally start staring with our arms crossed while making the 'hmmmm' sound."

'You know, it really was worth the extra $5 million to come up with the perfect logo.'

"They have extraordinary taste."

Security Verite

Dolores is so avant garde.

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

'I'm thinking of a photoshoot in Antibes just half a dozen models...and we'll need an elephant flown in...'

'I just think it's been badly art directed, that's all.'

artwork and production

Can you do it so my eyes follow everyone around the boardroom?

"Van Gogh would not live to see his masterpiece on a four-piece salad server set available in our gift shop."

Bobby eight year old

"I hate working with fish."

"It's just a bit. . . 'baby-ish' for me."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Just be yourself."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'