Arriving In A New Country Gifts

Sydney Airport - passengers called Barry, Sheila and Skippy.

"His first out-of-body experience."

'The child is very illogical'

Swinging on a star.

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Botany Baby!

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

'I told you to invite a friend over.'

'Hm-m-m - it sleeps most of the time. I think it must be some kind of cat.'

"Congratulations—It's a well dressed boy."

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

Baby Screen Time

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

Stork and baby discover scarecrows

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"Which one's yours?"

Bedtime story.

"Should we keep the receipt in case of returns."

Out of patience

'They're just adorable at this age - before they develop a personality.'

"Which one's yours?"

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

The American Tearoom, Moscow

Apricots

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'