Army Lieutenant Colonel T-Shirts

Army Promotions Board. You need to select one of these contenders for promotion to lieutenant colonet. It's like being in college. I have to pick a major.

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

'At ease, soldier.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

Family Salutes as Father Comes Home.

"Hack back with all you've got!"

Basic training w/ GI Joe, Rambo, Bruce Lee, etc.

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

"World War III? Hmm. O.K., but, remember, nobody gets hurt."

'Well this is awkward.'

A Rifle Competition in the North

'You know the rules, private - no pets!'

'Walter isn't truly happy unless he's bombing some country.'

'Does my bum look big in this?'

"Did you call for a Medic?"

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making you Torque.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

Leaders must focus on strategic planning and desired results."

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

"Hon, where's the butter?"

At a Country House

'I had a good day. Raised everybody's blood pressure.'

Psychiatry patient/army officer - 'Terrorism is hell, war is hell, peace is hell, international isolation is hell, defense budgets are hell...'

Bomb disposal officer sits at desk near workboxes: IN/ ERT.

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

Banting in the Yeomanry