Army Day Gifts

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

'They're all leaving...'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

Nature versus commerce.

Servicemen.

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

"Postwar is hell."

Military Medals

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

I love Lawyers

Naval Veterans Drinking at Greenwich Pub

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

Barristers

Canine Scentipede

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

Monuments

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

'I was in the catering corps.'

Thank you to those who never came home and to those who never left their side.

Menu: Wet food. Dry food

"The president is awarding the Medal of Honor to 24 Army veterans...whose heroism and gallantry were overlooked because of their race or ethnicity."