Arms Affair Aficionado Gifts

Neo-con foreign policy, plan A & plan B: (bombs).

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

Knights of the bedside table.

"My girlfriend really went all out on this one."

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

Gadzook used armour. Only one careful owner.

The Lawman

"Sheesh... Missed a button again."

Knight walking a dog.

Banting in the Yeomanry

'Looks like that pheasant got into the sticker bushes.'

Knight school.

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

'Don't mind him, he gets that way every Opening Day when I tell him he can't have a gun.'

"I spent 18-plus years, $2 trillion and around 2,400 dead soldiers in Afghanistan, and all I got was. . . this lousy turban."

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

Remounts for the Yeomanry

Knight Vision

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

Knight/Bird.

"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."

'This won't take long, Senator -- I'm a single-issue nut.'

A knight is about to battle another one has an gas powered circular saw.