Armed Guard T-Shirts

'...and who puts up your sandwiches - her Majesty?'

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

"He likes it."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

High security Santa's grotto

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

'Where was the TSA?'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"I need to know who started it."

dog vs UFO...

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

The Hall Of Mirrors Jeretski Palace, Plovdo

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

'Hey, hey, hey!'

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

Slow Night

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"I'll take this one."

Scarecrows guarding a field

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

The Bearskin Hat Family

Moulin Rouge Security

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

Watchdog on Holiday

"Sarge, he says he wants to make a 'fashion statement'!"